by
Charles Dobie
Christopher and his mom and dad were in the kitchen eating breakfast on a cold Saturday morning.
"Where's Mildred?" asked Mom. "Here puss, puss, puss! Where did that cat go?"
"Maybe she went outside to have her kittens," said Christopher.
"I hope not," said Dad. "Mildred shouldn't go outside in the cold. She should have her kittens in the box that we fixed for her, where it's safe and warm."
"I think Johnny let her out," said Christopher. "I'm not sure, but I think he did."
"Johnny? Who's Johnny?" asked Dad.
"Johnny Spitty," said Christopher looking at the floor.
"Johnny who?" asked Mom.
"Johnny Spitty," said Christopher. "He lives in the basement."
"I didn't know anyone lived in the basement but the stinky old furnace," chuckled Dad.
"Only Mildred and I can see Johnny Spitty," said Christopher. "He doesn't hide from us because we're his friends."
"Well, Johnny Spitty is bad if he let Mildred outside in the cold," said Mom.
"I don't think he meant to," said Christopher. "Maybe Mildred went out by herself."
"And maybe not," said Mom. "Why don't you ask Johnny Spitty if he knows where Mildred is?"
"Good idea," said Dad.
"Ok," said Christopher. "I'll ask him now."
So Christopher went down the stairs and into the basement. It was warm and dry in the basement because Chuff the furnace lived there. Chuff was big and fat and shiny and blue. He had long, round arms which stretched the whole length of the basement, and even reached all the way upstairs.
"Huff!" said Chuff. "Hi Chris."
"Hi Chuff, have you seen Mildred?" asked Christopher.
"Huff!" said Chuff. "Mildred's hiding, but it's a secret and I won't tell."
"Then I'll ask Johnny Spitty," said Christopher. "He knows everything."
"Huff and puff!" said Chuff. "Johnny Spitty does not know everything! Besides, Johnny always plays tricks on me, and he makes a mess in my basement when he plays here. Huff and puff and gruff!"
"What a grump!" said Christopher. "Goodby Grump, I mean Chump, I mean Chuff! I'm going to find Johnny."
"Huff and puff!!" said Chuff.
So Christopher ducked under the stairs, and he climbed over the tool box, and he s-q-u-e-e-e-e-e-z-e-d between the work bench and the old chest of drawers, and he scrunched down on his hands and knees, until he found the hole in the wall where the pipes came out. He knew this was the secret hole which led to Easy Street, where Johnny Spitty lived. Christopher crawled through the secret hole, ran to Johnny Spitty's house and knocked on Johnny's door. "Anyone home?" he called.
"Just me," said Johnny Spitty. "Hi Chris, come on in." Johnny was the same age as Christopher. He wore a floppy white shirt and baggy blue pants and he had big clompy green wooden shoes on his feet.
"Hi Johnny," said Christopher. "I'm looking for Mildred. Mom and Dad think she's outside in the cold."
"Nonsense!" said Johnny Spitty. "Mildred went to see Doctor Blisterburst so she could have her kittens. And guess what -- she had six fat kittens and they all look just like her!"
"Ya-hoo!" yelled Christopher. "Let's go see them!"
So Christopher and Johnny Spitty clomped down Easy Street to Doctor Blisterburst's house.
Johnny Spitty knocked on the door. "Hey there, Doctor Blisterburst," he called. "You have visitors."
Doctor Blisterburst opened his door. He was quite old and quite small and his mustache was quite white. He wore a woolly green coat and big stompy red rubber boots. "Vunderbar!! Glad to see you," he said to Johnny Spitty. And who have we here?" he asked.
"This is Chris," said Johnny Spitty.
"Vunderbar!!" said Doctor Blisterburst. "I'm Doctor Felix Jeramiah Blisterburst the Third, completely at your service. Where does it hurt?"
"Oh, he doesn't hurt anywhere," said Johnny Spitty to Doctor Blisterburst. "He's just visiting. Chris is my imaginary friend."
"Madge and Harry? Madge and Harry? Do you have a sister and a brother too?" asked Doctor Blisterburst.
"Not yet," said Christopher. "And I'm not imaginary. At least I don't think I am."
"Chris lives upstairs," Johnny Spitty said to Doctor Blisterburst. "All of the people who live upstairs are imaginary, everyone knows that!"
"Vunderbar!!" said Doctor Blisterburst. "Maybe all the stomping and tromping and clomping that goes on upstairs is Madge and Harry too. I've never heard so much Madge and Harry noise!"
"I'm sorry if we bother you," said Christopher. Can I see Mildred's new kittens? Johnny said you know where they are."
Doctor Blisterburst twisted his mustache, and he stomped his big red rubber boots, and he hemmed and he hawed, and finally he said: "Well, I guess you can see them, but you must be quiet because they are sleeping. Come on, follow me!"
So Christopher and Johnny Spitty and Doctor Blisterburst clomped all the way back up Easy Street to the hole in the wall where the pipes came out. Then they crawled through the hole in the wall, and they s-q-u-e-e-e-e-e-z-e-d between the work bench and the old chest of drawers, and they climbed over the tool box, and they ducked under the stairs, and they stomped down the hall to the back of the basement, and they tromped right up to the cupboard full of boots and packsacks and tennis rackets and a basket full of Dad's old work clothes.
"Are they in there?" asked Christopher.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! We mustn't wake them up," said Doctor Blisterburst.
So Christopher looked into the cupboard, and he peeked into the boots, and he peered into the packsacks, and he squinted at the tennis rackets, and he gazed into the basket full of Dad's old work clothes. "I don't see Mildred or her kittens," he said. "There's nobody here. Where are they?"
Then Doctor Blisterburst and Johnny Spitty looked into the cupboard too. "Omigosh!" said Doctor Blisterburst.
"Omigolly!" said Johnny Spitty.
"Are you sure they were here?" asked Christopher. "Maybe they were imaginary too."
"Am I sure? Sure I'm sure," said Doctor Blisterburst. "And who ever heard of Madge and Harry cats? I hope they didn't run away. We must find them and we must find them now!"
"Let's ask Chuff the furnace," said Christopher. "Chuff said he knows where Mildred is, but he said it was a secet. Maybe he will tell us if we ask him nicely."
"Vunderbar!! Let's go!" said Doctor Blisterburst.
"Let's go!" said Johnny Spitty.
"Let's go!" said Christopher.
So they clomped away from the cupboard full of dad's old work clothes, and they stomped down the hall from the back of the basement, and they tromped right up to Chuff, the furnace.
"Huff!" said Chuff. "What's all this clomping and stomping and tromping? What a rackety clackety noise!"
"We're looking for Mildred," said Doctor Blisterburst.
"And we're looking for Mildred's kittens," said Johnny Spitty.
"We're looking for Mildred and her kittens because they have run away," said Christopher. "Do you know where they are Mister Chuff?"
"Huff!" said Chuff. "It's a secret and I won't tell."
"Please," said Doctor Blisterburst.
"Pretty please," said Johnny Spitty.
"Pretty please with sugar on it," said Christopher.
"Huff and yum!" said Chuff. "And ice cream? I like chocolate ice cream!"
"Pretty please," said Doctor Blisterburst. "With sugar and chocolate ice cream and peanuts and sliced banana and maple syrup and a big red strawberry on the top!"
"Huff and yum and burp!" said Chuff. "My tummy is full, you're giving me gas!"
"And marshmallows," said Johnny Spitty. "And cherries and chocolate chip cookies and jelly beans and licorice and
"Huff and yum and burp and stop!" said Chuff. "You're giving me heartburn!"
"Then tell us where we can find Mildred and her kittens," said Christopher. "Pretty please with apple pie and cinnamon and whipped cream and peppermint and
"Huff-huff-hachoo!!" said Chuff. "Peppermint makes me sneeze."
"Then tell us," said Doctor Blisterburst.
"Yes, tell us," said Johnny Spitty.
"Yes, tell us where Mildred is," said Christopher.
"Huff and puff and burp!" said Chuff. "Mildred has her kittens in a cardboard box which is on the shelf behind me where its safe and warm."
"Vunderbar!!" said Doctor Blisterburst.
"As warm as toast with strawberry jam and peanut butter?" asked Johnny Spitty.
"Huff and puff and burp and stop!" said Chuff. "I've had enough for today, please and thank you very much."
So Christopher and Johnny Spitty and Doctor Blisterburst peeked into the cardboard box which was on the shelf behind Chuff the furnace. Sure enough, there was Mildred with six fat kittens. And sure enough, the kittens looked just like her.
"Oh, thank you, Chuff," said Christopher. "Thank you, Johnny. Thank you, Doctor Blisterburst. We found Mildred and her kittens and they are safe and warm."
"Vunderbar!! Better tell your mom and dad," said Doctor Blisterburst.
"Yes, tell them so they won't be worried," said Johnny Spitty. "We'll hide behind Chuff so they won't see us."
"Mom!" yelled Christopher. "Dad! Mildred has six fat kittens and they all look just like her!"
Mom and Dad came running down the stairs. Christopher showed them the cardboard box on the shelf behind Chuff the furnace.
"Why Christopher," how did you find them hidden back here?" asked Mom.
"Just lucky I guess," said Christopher.
"Who put this box here?" asked Dad. "Look, its bigger than the box we put in the cupboard upstairs."
"I think Chuff put it here," said Christopher, looking at the floor.
"Chuff? Who's Chuff?" asked Dad.
"That's Chuff," said Christopher, pointing at Chuff the furnace.
"Ha! That's only the stinky old furnace," laughed Dad. "A furnace can't fix a box for a cat and her kittens."
"Huff and puff and burp and snort!!" roared Chuff the furnace.
"Omigosh!! What was that?" asked Mom and Dad together. Their mouths hung open in suprise.
And Christopher and Johnny Spitty and Doctor Blisterburst could hardly keep from laughing.
THE END
© Copyright 1985- by Charles Dobie.